Recently the realization has hit me that I've become very spoiled with my kids. It came about one afternoon when I left my kids at home watching TV and went to pick up some pizza. My husband was working in the garage, so I knew if there were any problems my 10 year old would grab him and they would be fine. But as I got in the car it occurred to me that I'd transitioned out of the baby and toddler phases so subtly that I didn't even notice. Henry, my youngest, will be five right about the time that this baby is born, so we've long since moved past worrying about choking hazards on the floor, and when did we stop using the safety gates? I realized that if I wanted to leave the kids playing and take a quick bath, I could. I could even lie down on the couch and rest for 30 minutes (which I have been doing). We've been training Vallee to prepare her for eventually babysitting. But more than that, I know the kids will come to me if they need me and I've gained an independence I didn't even realize I had. How wonderful!!
Of course, in just over four short months, that will all come to a screeching halt. And truth be told, I'm a little scared. You would think that after four kids I'd have it down and be the model of confidence. For so many years babies and toddlers ruled my hours and consumed my world. I intentionally spaced my four about two years apart and just kept plugging away. I'd been doing that for so many years it has molded my reality. Now, as I face my fifth baby, I realize it's been several years since I've had a toddler...and a lot has changed.
Not all the changes are bad ones. I may be spoiled right now with a little more freedom, but this will be the first time I'll have a baby with siblings old enough to experience it with me. With all my other kids being older, I won't have to struggle with a baby in one arm and two toddlers throwing fits in different directions. Most of my kids are old enough to actually go to the toilet when they need to vomit, so I won't have to worry about multiple kids vomiting through the night on multiple beds and carpets (something that is a reality when you have multiple small children). That's a plus, right?
I'm also excited that my two oldest happen to be girls and can't wait to dote on the new baby. I know quite a lot of older siblings that resented being given so much responsibility with the other kids; some even to the extent that they don't want a large family, or kids of their own at all, because they feel like they already did so much to raise their siblings. Because of this, I'm very careful to allow my older kids the right to still be kids and I try very hard not to over-tax them. They aren't the parent, after all. As they do get more responsibility, I'm careful to help them understand that they also get greater privileges so there is a balance. Thus I hope to help them learn responsibility without getting resentful. That being said, I still think it will be great fun to have some little helpers around. I might even go as far as teaching them how to change a diaper. Seems like a good idea to me...
Of course, in just over four short months, that will all come to a screeching halt. And truth be told, I'm a little scared. You would think that after four kids I'd have it down and be the model of confidence. For so many years babies and toddlers ruled my hours and consumed my world. I intentionally spaced my four about two years apart and just kept plugging away. I'd been doing that for so many years it has molded my reality. Now, as I face my fifth baby, I realize it's been several years since I've had a toddler...and a lot has changed.
Not all the changes are bad ones. I may be spoiled right now with a little more freedom, but this will be the first time I'll have a baby with siblings old enough to experience it with me. With all my other kids being older, I won't have to struggle with a baby in one arm and two toddlers throwing fits in different directions. Most of my kids are old enough to actually go to the toilet when they need to vomit, so I won't have to worry about multiple kids vomiting through the night on multiple beds and carpets (something that is a reality when you have multiple small children). That's a plus, right?
I'm also excited that my two oldest happen to be girls and can't wait to dote on the new baby. I know quite a lot of older siblings that resented being given so much responsibility with the other kids; some even to the extent that they don't want a large family, or kids of their own at all, because they feel like they already did so much to raise their siblings. Because of this, I'm very careful to allow my older kids the right to still be kids and I try very hard not to over-tax them. They aren't the parent, after all. As they do get more responsibility, I'm careful to help them understand that they also get greater privileges so there is a balance. Thus I hope to help them learn responsibility without getting resentful. That being said, I still think it will be great fun to have some little helpers around. I might even go as far as teaching them how to change a diaper. Seems like a good idea to me...