I know that I haven't posted in a couple of weeks and I'm sorry about that but I really began to question the wisdom of continuing on with this blog because I just didn't feel like I had anything to say. Of course, a HUGE part of that was because I have been so depressed and such poor company. I've felt discouraged to the point where all of my reasons for getting pregnant in the first place were brought into question and I really just didn't have anything happy to say at all. Luckily, this has mostly past. I'm still depressed here and there and anxious here and there but I can see it for what it is, and know that my hormones go a muck when I am pregnant and things will eventually sort themselves out.
The turning point in this funk was definitely last week when I was finally able to hear babies heart beat. There's something so magical about hearing that little heart thumping away and knowing there is a life growing inside of you. Like a rain storm, it washed away my fears and anxiety. It left me feeling like there is something so precious and bigger than me at work here. Even now, the memory lingers on as a talisman against those dark and discouraging feelings that were having their way with me.
On a happier note, I am excited to report that my eating this last week has been PERFECT! I have eaten all healthy food with the exception of a 40 calorie cheat each day (the equivalent of two Starbursts or 10 Jelly Bellies...a girl's gotta have some candy). I've been doing my regular crossfit workouts plus extra time on my stair stepper. I have great hopes in reaching my weight goal at my next checkup in four weeks (which I will not share with you, as my husband occasionally reads my blog and I'm not discussing weight with him :-). My nausea still makes appearances in the evening, but the day is much better, so I'll take it. All in all, things are looking good and my spirits are up. I just hope it carries on for a bit...
The turning point in this funk was definitely last week when I was finally able to hear babies heart beat. There's something so magical about hearing that little heart thumping away and knowing there is a life growing inside of you. Like a rain storm, it washed away my fears and anxiety. It left me feeling like there is something so precious and bigger than me at work here. Even now, the memory lingers on as a talisman against those dark and discouraging feelings that were having their way with me.
On a happier note, I am excited to report that my eating this last week has been PERFECT! I have eaten all healthy food with the exception of a 40 calorie cheat each day (the equivalent of two Starbursts or 10 Jelly Bellies...a girl's gotta have some candy). I've been doing my regular crossfit workouts plus extra time on my stair stepper. I have great hopes in reaching my weight goal at my next checkup in four weeks (which I will not share with you, as my husband occasionally reads my blog and I'm not discussing weight with him :-). My nausea still makes appearances in the evening, but the day is much better, so I'll take it. All in all, things are looking good and my spirits are up. I just hope it carries on for a bit...