For example, one friend of mine approached me today and inquired as to if I was feeling better- no commentary on how horrible I apparently looked. When I told him I was still struggling he went on to say that he was at a whole foods store the other day and thought of me. He proceeded to tell me about a homeopathic remedy for nausea and shared the remedy that he purchased, with me in mind. How thoughtful! How kind and considerate. I was very happy with our exchange.
On the other hand, several well meaning friends also approached me with a standard, "Wow, you look awful! Are you still sick then?" Now I know these people mean well and are trying to show concern for me, but really! It's enough to know I feel crappy. I really don't need to know I look it too.
In this case, everyone was spot on. I did look horrid (apparently...though truth be told, I didn't think I looked that bad. My hair was mostly done and I had make up on...anyway) and I did feel even worse. But how many times have you been asked if you are feeling well on the basis that you 'look tired' when you really feel fine? Happens to me a lot. Maybe the circles under my eyes inherently give me a tired look? I don't know- but then I feel obligated to admit to being tired when I'm really not. "Oh yeah? Yeah, I am feeling tired today." I wonder what would happen if I just answered them honestly and threw it right back at them..."Tired? No, I feel great! You, on the other hand, you look like you've gained some weight. What going on in your life?" Hmmmm, no. Probably not the best response.
So in conclusion, if you are wanting to show concern for me, a simple 'How are you feeling today' will hit the spot just right. It's all about delivery.